Even though I already feel thoroughly spoiled about this movie thanks in large part to Page 6, I was still a lil giddy over the trailer. The Big and Carrie wedding..can those two crazy kids make it work? I dunno, but i do know where I'll be May 30th. Drunk on cosmos, (because you must celebrate fittingly) probably falling asleep in the theater. I will however make a concerted effort to stay awake and alert enough to find out. Will they?
And if Miranda and Steve won't. You know how misleading those tricky trailers can be. Right? I feel I need to be reassured.
Friday, February 29, 2008
Sex And the City is back- dust off those Manolos
No Clownin Around
From Wikipedia:
Coulrophobia is an abnormal or exaggerated fear of clowns. It is not uncommon among children, but is also sometimes found in teenagers and adults as well. Sufferers sometimes acquire a fear of clowns after having a bad experience with one personally, or seeing a sinister portrayal of one in the media. A design study carried out by the University of Sheffield found that children are frightened by clown-themed decor in hospitals.[1]Not all sufferers of the phobia experience the same degree of fear.[2]
Suddenly I no longer feel so alone. There's no longer a need to live in fear and shame, avoiding children's birthday parties and county fairs, for fear of those costumed marauders, twisting balloons in unnatural shapes and plotting to eat my flesh with razor sharp teeth. For my phobia has a name, and no doubt a legion of other sufferers.
If I were to review my memories (which appear in my minds eye like a zapruter film for those who wondered how my odd lil brain functions) I'd probably trace the genesis of my phobia to 2 distinct sources.
Ringling Brothers(because c'mon circuses are scary) and Stephen King. I was considering a class action lawsuit, but I'm not a very litigious minded person, and really all the money in the world wouldn't undo the irrational damage that's already been done.
Pennywise is my bogeyman, if not *the* bogeyman. I was convinced he lived in my attic as a child, and refused to use the bathroom at night, because it was right near the aforementioned door to his lair. I still can't comfortably pass by a sewer or subway grate for fear he'll reach up and snatch my just like he did to poor little georgie. I can't listen to the band Pennywise. Maybe I would like the band Pennywise, but their name alone is enough to convince me to stay away. In retrospect maybe the movie "It" wasn't a prime viewing choice for a young child. I just wasn't prepared for the fear scape of Stephen King's imagination at such a tender, impressionable age I guess. In my later years I even tried reading the book in some vain attempt at finding a therapeutic cure. Needless to say that's been filed away in the pantheon of Jenn's bad ides. I slept with a night light for weeks. I'm still in search of a cure. I'm not very confident I'll find one. I guess the avoidance method is a good a one as any. I mean how often in life will I find myself forced to keep company with clowns?
Hey Jenn wanna go to the circus? No thanks I've gotta wash my hair.
Hey Jenn it's little Jimmy's birthday this weekend. Oh, really what time will the clown magic show be over?
I see no problem with that. None at all.
But, while I've got sai King on my mind, I'm currently making my way (slow like molasses) through the last book of the Dark Tower series. It's a bit of daunting task, since it's as thick as a phone book (you should have seen the look of shock on my face when the guy from work I borrowed the book from plopped it into my arms!) but I also think I'm reading it so slowly because I'm reluctant to leave Roland's world. I don't want it to be over, I think I might be a little sad when the ka-tet is no more. I just hope Pennywise doesn't have a hand in their fate. That might ruin my psyche for good!
Coulrophobia is an abnormal or exaggerated fear of clowns. It is not uncommon among children, but is also sometimes found in teenagers and adults as well. Sufferers sometimes acquire a fear of clowns after having a bad experience with one personally, or seeing a sinister portrayal of one in the media. A design study carried out by the University of Sheffield found that children are frightened by clown-themed decor in hospitals.[1]Not all sufferers of the phobia experience the same degree of fear.[2]
Suddenly I no longer feel so alone. There's no longer a need to live in fear and shame, avoiding children's birthday parties and county fairs, for fear of those costumed marauders, twisting balloons in unnatural shapes and plotting to eat my flesh with razor sharp teeth. For my phobia has a name, and no doubt a legion of other sufferers.
If I were to review my memories (which appear in my minds eye like a zapruter film for those who wondered how my odd lil brain functions) I'd probably trace the genesis of my phobia to 2 distinct sources.
Ringling Brothers(because c'mon circuses are scary) and Stephen King. I was considering a class action lawsuit, but I'm not a very litigious minded person, and really all the money in the world wouldn't undo the irrational damage that's already been done.
Pennywise is my bogeyman, if not *the* bogeyman. I was convinced he lived in my attic as a child, and refused to use the bathroom at night, because it was right near the aforementioned door to his lair. I still can't comfortably pass by a sewer or subway grate for fear he'll reach up and snatch my just like he did to poor little georgie. I can't listen to the band Pennywise. Maybe I would like the band Pennywise, but their name alone is enough to convince me to stay away. In retrospect maybe the movie "It" wasn't a prime viewing choice for a young child. I just wasn't prepared for the fear scape of Stephen King's imagination at such a tender, impressionable age I guess. In my later years I even tried reading the book in some vain attempt at finding a therapeutic cure. Needless to say that's been filed away in the pantheon of Jenn's bad ides. I slept with a night light for weeks. I'm still in search of a cure. I'm not very confident I'll find one. I guess the avoidance method is a good a one as any. I mean how often in life will I find myself forced to keep company with clowns?
Hey Jenn wanna go to the circus? No thanks I've gotta wash my hair.
Hey Jenn it's little Jimmy's birthday this weekend. Oh, really what time will the clown magic show be over?
I see no problem with that. None at all.
But, while I've got sai King on my mind, I'm currently making my way (slow like molasses) through the last book of the Dark Tower series. It's a bit of daunting task, since it's as thick as a phone book (you should have seen the look of shock on my face when the guy from work I borrowed the book from plopped it into my arms!) but I also think I'm reading it so slowly because I'm reluctant to leave Roland's world. I don't want it to be over, I think I might be a little sad when the ka-tet is no more. I just hope Pennywise doesn't have a hand in their fate. That might ruin my psyche for good!
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
Even CSRs get the blues
I don't have an impressive resume (creative padding aside). I've come to terms with this, more or less. I'm more than sure I haven't found my niche in the esteemed customer service industry, but without any real discernible talents, and a fistful of shattered dreams and unrealized potential, I guess I've built myself a little home. I do my job, and I do it well. I wear my little headset, say my little greeting, rely on autopilot, caffeine and nicotine and somehow pull off the unenviable task of servicing customers 7 hours a day (I get an hour off for lunch thankyouverymuch) 5 days a week.
I get up at the same time. Go through the same routine. Commute with the same people. And have the same goddamn conversation. 7 hours a day (with an hour off for lunch thankyouverymuch) 5 days a week.I sometimes feel like I'm serving a life sentence in purgatory for some unknown crime. I feel like a lifer in a maximum security prison. My lunch hour (thankyouverymuch) akin to my hour in the yard, socializing with the other inmates, liftin weights, maybe testing out my new shive.
As a child I always imagined when I grew up I'd be a high powered lawyer, an entrepreneurial business owner, or maybe a time traveler. But, I never once thought when I talked to ernie on my plastic sesame street telephone: 'hell yea, this is some cool shit right there. I've found my calling....literally!"
Some days I think of doing something crazy like walking a new way to the bus stop. (Look out! ) Or maybe buying the post instead of the daily news (for shame) Anything to break the monotony. I refuse to accept this life.My complacency kills me sometimes.
What's that? If your unhappy get another job? Well that seems kind of pointless.I've already mentioned I don't have an impressive resume. Why service customers for the devil I don't know when I'm comfortable with the one I do?
Well then do something about it! Be pro-active. Refer to my above mentioned complacency.
If only I knew how to appeal to the warden. Maybe he'd commute my sentence.
But for now I guess I'm going to have to rely on my back up plan. Finding my financial independence by tricking a rich man into getting me pregnant.
I'm just kidding. Or am I?
That's actually not a bad idea.
I get up at the same time. Go through the same routine. Commute with the same people. And have the same goddamn conversation. 7 hours a day (with an hour off for lunch thankyouverymuch) 5 days a week.I sometimes feel like I'm serving a life sentence in purgatory for some unknown crime. I feel like a lifer in a maximum security prison. My lunch hour (thankyouverymuch) akin to my hour in the yard, socializing with the other inmates, liftin weights, maybe testing out my new shive.
As a child I always imagined when I grew up I'd be a high powered lawyer, an entrepreneurial business owner, or maybe a time traveler. But, I never once thought when I talked to ernie on my plastic sesame street telephone: 'hell yea, this is some cool shit right there. I've found my calling....literally!"
Some days I think of doing something crazy like walking a new way to the bus stop. (Look out! ) Or maybe buying the post instead of the daily news (for shame) Anything to break the monotony. I refuse to accept this life.My complacency kills me sometimes.
What's that? If your unhappy get another job? Well that seems kind of pointless.I've already mentioned I don't have an impressive resume. Why service customers for the devil I don't know when I'm comfortable with the one I do?
Well then do something about it! Be pro-active. Refer to my above mentioned complacency.
If only I knew how to appeal to the warden. Maybe he'd commute my sentence.
But for now I guess I'm going to have to rely on my back up plan. Finding my financial independence by tricking a rich man into getting me pregnant.
I'm just kidding. Or am I?
That's actually not a bad idea.
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
I always knew Robots would enslave mankind!
Killer robots pose latest militant threat-expert
Source: Reuters
LONDON, Feb 27 (Reuters) - Killer robots could become the weapon of choice for militants, a British expert said on Wednesday.
Noel Sharkey, professor of artificial intelligence and robotics at the University of Sheffield said he believed falling costs would soon make robots a realistic option for extremist groups.
Several countries and companies are developing the technology for robot weapons, with the U.S. Department of Defense leading the way. More than 4,000 robots are deployed in Iraq.
"The trouble is that we can't really put the genie back in the bottle. Once the new weapons are out there, they will be fairly easy to copy," Sharkey will tell a one-day conference organised by Britain's Royal United Services Institute on Wednesday.
"How long is it going to be before the terrorists get in on the act? With the current prices of robot construction falling dramatically and the availability of ready-made components for the amateur market, it wouldn't require a lot of skill to make autonomous robot weapons."
Sharkey said a small GPS-guided drone with autopilot could be made for about 250 pounds ($490). (Reporting by Ben Hirschler)
Source: Reuters
LONDON, Feb 27 (Reuters) - Killer robots could become the weapon of choice for militants, a British expert said on Wednesday.
Noel Sharkey, professor of artificial intelligence and robotics at the University of Sheffield said he believed falling costs would soon make robots a realistic option for extremist groups.
Several countries and companies are developing the technology for robot weapons, with the U.S. Department of Defense leading the way. More than 4,000 robots are deployed in Iraq.
"The trouble is that we can't really put the genie back in the bottle. Once the new weapons are out there, they will be fairly easy to copy," Sharkey will tell a one-day conference organised by Britain's Royal United Services Institute on Wednesday.
"How long is it going to be before the terrorists get in on the act? With the current prices of robot construction falling dramatically and the availability of ready-made components for the amateur market, it wouldn't require a lot of skill to make autonomous robot weapons."
Sharkey said a small GPS-guided drone with autopilot could be made for about 250 pounds ($490). (Reporting by Ben Hirschler)
Monday, February 25, 2008
I named my Pet "Peeves"
People who try to elicit sympathy. Life is hard all over. I have no empathy for people who feel the need to parade a litany of why life is cruel and unjust to them for anyone who will listen. Or barring actively listen, read sign language. Everyone has a story. Yours is not unique. Get a blog. It'll help you feel more superior about yourself.
People who use the phrase "I am a good person". No your not. Good people don't need to constantly reassure themselves of their inherent goodness. Chances are they probably aren't keeping score.
People who take up multiple seats on the bus and/or subway. I mean I'm sure your jansport backpack had a hard day at work too, but unless it has it's own metrocard and paid the same fare I did, I think I'm more deserving of a seat you selfish fuck.
People who think being an nonconformist is cool and fashionable. It's not. I've got news for you lemming, you've jumped off the cliff. Being an independent thinker means you can assess and judge things on an individual basis. The embarrassing stuff is cool. So what you sing along to "Since you've been gone." every time it comes on the radio? Or you know every word to Pretty in Pink forwards and backwards? Like things because you like them, not because your trying to win hipster points. Be Brave.
People who don't read. I mean c'mon. I love popular entertainment as much as the next person, but kick it old skool once in awhile. Y'know left to right, up and down. It's like riding a bike, if you enjoy things that evolve physical exertion that is. Read a newspaper, a magazine, whatever Oprah tells you, I don't care but exercise your brain.
People who've never gone to a concert. Because that's just silly. I'll buy you a ticket! Live music, whether it be in a small club or an arena, especially seeing a musician you love, is the best. Period.
People who text me chain letters. Your crush isn't going to love you, you're not going to have bad luck, the orphans are not going to get shoes, Bill Gates is not going to send you a check, and while your at it delete my number. Thanks.
Alright this stream of consciousness is getting pointless, although satisfyingly fun, now.
People who use the phrase "I am a good person". No your not. Good people don't need to constantly reassure themselves of their inherent goodness. Chances are they probably aren't keeping score.
People who take up multiple seats on the bus and/or subway. I mean I'm sure your jansport backpack had a hard day at work too, but unless it has it's own metrocard and paid the same fare I did, I think I'm more deserving of a seat you selfish fuck.
People who think being an nonconformist is cool and fashionable. It's not. I've got news for you lemming, you've jumped off the cliff. Being an independent thinker means you can assess and judge things on an individual basis. The embarrassing stuff is cool. So what you sing along to "Since you've been gone." every time it comes on the radio? Or you know every word to Pretty in Pink forwards and backwards? Like things because you like them, not because your trying to win hipster points. Be Brave.
People who don't read. I mean c'mon. I love popular entertainment as much as the next person, but kick it old skool once in awhile. Y'know left to right, up and down. It's like riding a bike, if you enjoy things that evolve physical exertion that is. Read a newspaper, a magazine, whatever Oprah tells you, I don't care but exercise your brain.
People who've never gone to a concert. Because that's just silly. I'll buy you a ticket! Live music, whether it be in a small club or an arena, especially seeing a musician you love, is the best. Period.
People who text me chain letters. Your crush isn't going to love you, you're not going to have bad luck, the orphans are not going to get shoes, Bill Gates is not going to send you a check, and while your at it delete my number. Thanks.
Alright this stream of consciousness is getting pointless, although satisfyingly fun, now.
Sunday, February 24, 2008
Welcome to Whedon's Doll House.
Joss Whedon returns to tv! Possibly as soon as this fall! Choirs of angels rejoiced (if only in my mind).Of course Fox will probably mess with the programming and constantly switch the days to find ratings instead of letting the show build a following. Or better yet maybe they won't air the series pilot until half way through it's run so as to add as much confusion and disinterest as possible. I don't even care though. I'm happy. This is better than Christmas, New Years and my Birthday all rolled into one! I'm in full on geek out mode.
From E!online:
Whedon's new Fox series, called Dollhouse, stars Miss Eliza Dushku, best known as Faith to you Buffy the Vampire Slayer fans. And this show isn't just a pilot. It's already been given a seven-episode commitment by Fox. Woo!
Here's how Fox describes the series:
Echo (Eliza Dushku) [is] a young woman who is literally everybody's fantasy. She is one of a group of men and women who can be imprinted with personality packages, including memories, skills, language—even muscle memory—for different assignments. The assignments can be romantic, adventurous, outlandish, uplifting, sexual and/or very illegal. When not imprinted with a personality package, Echo and the others are basically mind-wiped, living like children in a futuristic dorm/lab dubbed the Dollhouse, with no memory of their assignments—or of much else. The show revolves around the childlike Echo's burgeoning self-awareness, and her desire to know who she was before, a desire that begins to seep into her various imprinted personalities and puts her in danger both in the field and in the closely monitored confines of the Dollhouse
From E!online:
Whedon's new Fox series, called Dollhouse, stars Miss Eliza Dushku, best known as Faith to you Buffy the Vampire Slayer fans. And this show isn't just a pilot. It's already been given a seven-episode commitment by Fox. Woo!
Here's how Fox describes the series:
Echo (Eliza Dushku) [is] a young woman who is literally everybody's fantasy. She is one of a group of men and women who can be imprinted with personality packages, including memories, skills, language—even muscle memory—for different assignments. The assignments can be romantic, adventurous, outlandish, uplifting, sexual and/or very illegal. When not imprinted with a personality package, Echo and the others are basically mind-wiped, living like children in a futuristic dorm/lab dubbed the Dollhouse, with no memory of their assignments—or of much else. The show revolves around the childlike Echo's burgeoning self-awareness, and her desire to know who she was before, a desire that begins to seep into her various imprinted personalities and puts her in danger both in the field and in the closely monitored confines of the Dollhouse
Saturday, February 23, 2008
The Vindication of Jenn
as defined on Urbandictionary.com:
1.Jenn
As the world is so overpopulated with Jennifers, we need to be able to distinguish the cool from the evil. The only acceptable abreviation for the cool Jennifers is Jenn. Jenny, Jen, Nifer and any other variations of Jennifer are hereby deemed stupid and will no longer be tolerated! Anyone still answering to any other variation will be recognised as evil and or a loser!
Linda: "Is that Jenny over there?"
Tim: *smacks Linda's face* "You mean Jenn right???"
Linda: *sobbing* "OMG I soooo meant to say Jenn!"
Tim: "It's okay, I won't tell Jenn what you called her! But only this once.
I've long presumed there was a name shortage in the late 70's. I've often imagined my parents attending some late night meeting at studio 54 where they, and an entire generation's parents met and in between disco, hangin' with a still black Michael Jackson and enough blow to make Tony Montana cry they came to the unanimous decision to name 4 out of 5 baby girls born in the ensuing decade Jennifer. In fact for most of my formidable years I thought my government name actually was "JenniferL" I never realized that was just an easy way of distinguishing me from the 40 other Jennifers in my grade school.Later I was forced to endure other people unceremoniously christening me with there own *cute* (and I use the term very very lightly) nicknames. Jenny, Jen-Jen, Jenni,Niffer, J-Lo
Now because I'm a laid back person who is also a bit selfish and self centered ,in so much as I'm generally unconcerned and unaffected by other people. (Or does that maybe mean I suffer from Narcissistic personality disorder? I'll have to self diagnose that later on Wikipedia) I never bothered to correct people.
But I may have ground my teeth.
Now I feel some small measure of vindication.
It's Jenn. Plain, simple, unassuming Jenn.
Jennifer is fine too.
And let's all agree to disagree on the cuteness of nicknames
1.Jenn
As the world is so overpopulated with Jennifers, we need to be able to distinguish the cool from the evil. The only acceptable abreviation for the cool Jennifers is Jenn. Jenny, Jen, Nifer and any other variations of Jennifer are hereby deemed stupid and will no longer be tolerated! Anyone still answering to any other variation will be recognised as evil and or a loser!
Linda: "Is that Jenny over there?"
Tim: *smacks Linda's face* "You mean Jenn right???"
Linda: *sobbing* "OMG I soooo meant to say Jenn!"
Tim: "It's okay, I won't tell Jenn what you called her! But only this once.
I've long presumed there was a name shortage in the late 70's. I've often imagined my parents attending some late night meeting at studio 54 where they, and an entire generation's parents met and in between disco, hangin' with a still black Michael Jackson and enough blow to make Tony Montana cry they came to the unanimous decision to name 4 out of 5 baby girls born in the ensuing decade Jennifer. In fact for most of my formidable years I thought my government name actually was "JenniferL" I never realized that was just an easy way of distinguishing me from the 40 other Jennifers in my grade school.Later I was forced to endure other people unceremoniously christening me with there own *cute* (and I use the term very very lightly) nicknames. Jenny, Jen-Jen, Jenni,Niffer, J-Lo
Now because I'm a laid back person who is also a bit selfish and self centered ,in so much as I'm generally unconcerned and unaffected by other people. (Or does that maybe mean I suffer from Narcissistic personality disorder? I'll have to self diagnose that later on Wikipedia) I never bothered to correct people.
But I may have ground my teeth.
Now I feel some small measure of vindication.
It's Jenn. Plain, simple, unassuming Jenn.
Jennifer is fine too.
And let's all agree to disagree on the cuteness of nicknames
Conversations from a Call Center
The following is an actual transcription (at least as far as my powers of total recall are able to function)of a caller I encountered at work.
Caller: Um yea, I'm trying to call this other office and I can't get through their menu.
Me: Well, sir the options you should select to navigate their menu and speak to a representative would be first the #1 for English, then 0, then the#1.
Caller: (whining) But I ammmm. I am pressing 1 and it ain't speakin English. It's talkin "Mexican." And I don't talk Mexican.
Me: Well, that's impossible sir.
Caller: (indignant) NO it AIN'T. I'm pressin 1 and I know English and it ain't English it's Mexican. I'm tellin ya.
Me: Again, sure I assure you that's impossible,because first of all "Mexican" is a nationality, not a language. The language you encountered would have been"Spanish" sir. And, secondly I can assure you that if you press the #1 on your touch tone phone the recording proceeds in English. The #1 would be located as the first numbered option if you are unable to locate it.
Caller: I know how to use a phone ma'am.
Me: Well then the only other possibility is that your phone needs to be repaired, thank you for calling and have a great day!!!
Caller: Um yea, I'm trying to call this other office and I can't get through their menu.
Me: Well, sir the options you should select to navigate their menu and speak to a representative would be first the #1 for English, then 0, then the#1.
Caller: (whining) But I ammmm. I am pressing 1 and it ain't speakin English. It's talkin "Mexican." And I don't talk Mexican.
Me: Well, that's impossible sir.
Caller: (indignant) NO it AIN'T. I'm pressin 1 and I know English and it ain't English it's Mexican. I'm tellin ya.
Me: Again, sure I assure you that's impossible,because first of all "Mexican" is a nationality, not a language. The language you encountered would have been"Spanish" sir. And, secondly I can assure you that if you press the #1 on your touch tone phone the recording proceeds in English. The #1 would be located as the first numbered option if you are unable to locate it.
Caller: I know how to use a phone ma'am.
Me: Well then the only other possibility is that your phone needs to be repaired, thank you for calling and have a great day!!!
Friday, February 22, 2008
Peering out my Snow Globe
I always love the first substantial snow fall of the year. The world is so still and peaceful. Everything looks beautiful covered in a think blanket of white. I feel like I'm in my own private snow globe, warm and safe inside gazing out at world that seems so ethereal as the snowflakes undulate and dance in the air.
Hot cocoa and bad TV is always in order. Once the heaviest of the snow has passed, venturing out for a walk reveals the beauty in even the most mundane, unappealing aspects of any neighborhood.
I can't help it, snow speaks to my inner child (which i love and nurture and indulge as much as is possible) on some visceral level.
And I know the reality of snow isn't so pretty. The slush, the shoveling, the cold, the dangerous driving conditions, etc etc.....But for a moment, just one moment, everything is about as close to perfect as I've ever experienced.
Hot cocoa and bad TV is always in order. Once the heaviest of the snow has passed, venturing out for a walk reveals the beauty in even the most mundane, unappealing aspects of any neighborhood.
I can't help it, snow speaks to my inner child (which i love and nurture and indulge as much as is possible) on some visceral level.
And I know the reality of snow isn't so pretty. The slush, the shoveling, the cold, the dangerous driving conditions, etc etc.....But for a moment, just one moment, everything is about as close to perfect as I've ever experienced.
Reasons Turning 30 doesn't suck
I'm not turning 50.
I'm not turning 40.
I'm not turning 21.
I'm still too young to get senior citizen discounts(oh wait that one kinda sucks)
I can still do shots at a bar and not look like I'm on my 13th step(again)
I can pretend I still have options in life (at leas tuntil I turn 35)
There's still time to sit with the cool kids at the lunch table, even if it is at the retirement center.
I won't be the "weird old person" at the Cure concert in June. (I will however concede aging hipster)
Being a geek is still cool. (but really I don't think that'll ever go outta style for me)
And finally...I have a blog
My goal is really to come up with at *least* 30 reasons. Only 10 immediately come to mind, but that procrastinating angel which perches on my shoulder was whispering in my ear that I still have 2 months to reach that goal. Growing old gracefully is all in the mind. I think. I hope. Well I guess botox doesn't hurt. I hope in the next decade to have a frozen, expressionless face. All the better to not let emotions belie any sarcastic banter I engage in.
I'm not turning 40.
I'm not turning 21.
I'm still too young to get senior citizen discounts(oh wait that one kinda sucks)
I can still do shots at a bar and not look like I'm on my 13th step(again)
I can pretend I still have options in life (at leas tuntil I turn 35)
There's still time to sit with the cool kids at the lunch table, even if it is at the retirement center.
I won't be the "weird old person" at the Cure concert in June. (I will however concede aging hipster)
Being a geek is still cool. (but really I don't think that'll ever go outta style for me)
And finally...I have a blog
My goal is really to come up with at *least* 30 reasons. Only 10 immediately come to mind, but that procrastinating angel which perches on my shoulder was whispering in my ear that I still have 2 months to reach that goal. Growing old gracefully is all in the mind. I think. I hope. Well I guess botox doesn't hurt. I hope in the next decade to have a frozen, expressionless face. All the better to not let emotions belie any sarcastic banter I engage in.
Thursday, February 21, 2008
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
The Journey Diamond Shame Ad
I detest this commerical. It bothers me, like an itch I can't scratch or people who assume everyone watches American Idol. The scene, evening, a snowy night. A man gazes loving at his wife while they're sitting in their car at a red light. He finally grasps her hand and places a very beautiful diamond necklace in it. As they loving embrace the light changes and they are so en-rapt they don't even notice. Cab drivers politely go around the unmoving vehicle. Now commentaries on the devaluing of love to a shallow token of consumerism aside here's what bothers me:
The man's serial killer-Esq stare. I mean really?Obviously we are supposed to believe this is a long term couple who are either so comfortable in their companionable silence, or just plain out of things to say. So why the penetrating stare? It wasn't loving, it was creepy and unnerving. Plus it's *snowing*. Even at a red light a safe driver would still be aware and alert of his or her surroundings. Especially at night.
Secondly I take issue with the cab drivers who are so cooperative and politely drive around the aforementioned un-safe, creepy car owners. C'mon journey diamond, now you're really asking a lot from me. In what alternate universe does this ad take place? Because i can guarantee it's not this one. In my reality, there would have been screaming, cursing, in several languages, laying on the horn. Maybe even a physical altercation (judging by the looks of the serial killer who buys his lady diamonds ) who's holding up traffic. But, politely driving around the aforementioned offender, not an option.
Maybe what they're actually saying is that diamonds have a narcotizing effect that transport the recipient to a Utopian existence where nothing bad *ever*happens and doomed dead end relationships can be saved. Or maybe they're merely suggesting that money really can buy everything.Hmm m....
In any case I loathe this commercial. I like commericals with some gritty realism to them, like the emerald nut spots.Those are witty, fun ads with a does of believability to them. Who hasn't had a living entertainment legend come to mess with their productivity around 5pm. I've longs uspected Wayne Newton, but Robert Goulet was also on the short list. Way to go emerald nuts, I love you, and your advertising people. I only ask you let me sitin on a pitch meeting one day
The man's serial killer-Esq stare. I mean really?Obviously we are supposed to believe this is a long term couple who are either so comfortable in their companionable silence, or just plain out of things to say. So why the penetrating stare? It wasn't loving, it was creepy and unnerving. Plus it's *snowing*. Even at a red light a safe driver would still be aware and alert of his or her surroundings. Especially at night.
Secondly I take issue with the cab drivers who are so cooperative and politely drive around the aforementioned un-safe, creepy car owners. C'mon journey diamond, now you're really asking a lot from me. In what alternate universe does this ad take place? Because i can guarantee it's not this one. In my reality, there would have been screaming, cursing, in several languages, laying on the horn. Maybe even a physical altercation (judging by the looks of the serial killer who buys his lady diamonds ) who's holding up traffic. But, politely driving around the aforementioned offender, not an option.
Maybe what they're actually saying is that diamonds have a narcotizing effect that transport the recipient to a Utopian existence where nothing bad *ever*happens and doomed dead end relationships can be saved. Or maybe they're merely suggesting that money really can buy everything.Hmm m....
In any case I loathe this commercial. I like commericals with some gritty realism to them, like the emerald nut spots.Those are witty, fun ads with a does of believability to them. Who hasn't had a living entertainment legend come to mess with their productivity around 5pm. I've longs uspected Wayne Newton, but Robert Goulet was also on the short list. Way to go emerald nuts, I love you, and your advertising people. I only ask you let me sitin on a pitch meeting one day
Monday, February 18, 2008
aight
Which Hero Are You?
My Result: Hiro Nakamura
What costume?
Sometimes for shits and giggles, I enjoy attending beauty pageants, chain smoking and bleary eyed as a cautionary tale for the youngsters. See what happens stage moms when you objectify your daughters? Somewhere between teased hair, bedazzled outfits, vapid eyed stares and baton twirling they lose all sense of identity.
I like to parade around critiquing and giving advice like a ghost of pageants past.
Hence the profile photo.
Seriously though I have no idea what to really do with a blog.
I read an article in some very literary minded fair at the nail salon, about some chick who started a blog about trying something new everyday before she turned 30. I don't really know what she did, or how that endeavor turned out for her (although I'm certain it must have been quite enlightening) I got distracted by a John Mayer interview, but later got to thinking, "why not me"
Is a cohesive thought process or general direction really needed to blog. I mean I'm turning 30. I have Internet access, too much spare time, and some alcoholic tendencies. Why can't I write about nothing and become filled with a false sense of self importance.
Why not indeed?
Why not indeed.......
I like to parade around critiquing and giving advice like a ghost of pageants past.
Hence the profile photo.
Seriously though I have no idea what to really do with a blog.
I read an article in some very literary minded fair at the nail salon, about some chick who started a blog about trying something new everyday before she turned 30. I don't really know what she did, or how that endeavor turned out for her (although I'm certain it must have been quite enlightening) I got distracted by a John Mayer interview, but later got to thinking, "why not me"
Is a cohesive thought process or general direction really needed to blog. I mean I'm turning 30. I have Internet access, too much spare time, and some alcoholic tendencies. Why can't I write about nothing and become filled with a false sense of self importance.
Why not indeed?
Why not indeed.......
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