The Catholic Church, those slow moving arbiters of moral and social standards have finally updated the 7 deadly sins, and it only took 1,500 years! Sinnings come a long way, baby!
The new pope just isn't messing around. He's hiking up his skirt, rolling up the sleeves on his cassock, and exiting his lair at the Vatican by way of the pope-mobile to save us all from eternal damnation.
For those that don't know in the 6th century my man Pope Gregory the great laid down the list of what we know of as the 7 deadly sins: lust, gluttony, avarice, sloth, anger, envy and pride. As if life wasn't hard enough in the 6th century, people had to worry about hellfire and brimstone if they did anything other than die of the black plague, like feel real human emotions. Or, for shame, commit the sin of avarice. I'm sure much like today, no one had any clue what avarice even is. I mean I could be committing that sin right now for all I know, and I can read and write.
Well the Catholic Church has said "Welcome to the 21st century devotees, we no longer sell indulgences and are currently updating our sin-tastic list. Hope to see you all beyond the pearly gates." The new list includes:
polluting, genetic engineering, being obscenely rich, drug dealing, abortion, pedophilia and causing social injustice.Way to go guys, you've really nailed the head on what living in today's society is really like for humanity.
I guess what I've learned most from this list is the following:
Whenever I liter I don't just make a good natured native American cry, I also make God cry. And when God cries he revokes your soul. No do-overs. Heaven must be full of hippies. Thanks but I'd take limbo any day.
Oprah Winfrey and Bill Gates are morally bankrupt and should probably hope they can "take it with them" so as to book better accommodations in the inferno.
Geneticists are all evil supervillians, with way cool labs.
Abortion is wrong, drugs are wrong (*yawn* yea yea I grew up watching after-school specials padre)
Whenever that priest who liked the young boys a little too much was "transferred" to another parish, he actually was given a "go straight to hell card, do not pass the alter, do not collect communion."
Causing social injustice? Hmmmm...well they sure did paint that one with broad stroke now didn't they?
I guess that one is the avarice of it's time huh? I mean I'm not quite sure what they mean. I could be causing social injustice right now, and I can read and write.
Hopefully we'll get some answers when the pope comes to America on his "7 deadly sins World Tour"
But I have to give props where props are deserved. Kudos Catholicism for taking one tiny small insignificant step towards some sort of false progress. Kudos!
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